Being a 30 something single Christian guy can be a little confusing, I’m finding out, especially if you have the nutty complimentarian position that I do, and you’re planning to be a pastor. This always seems to strike during wedding season…. I wonder why. :-)
Okay, first of all, my position is that “it is not good for man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18), combined with the fact that the passage was in the context of the creation of eve, means that Christian guys should seek to get married and raise Godly families. The passages that seem to detract from this position can be easilly understood once read in context. 1 Corinthians 7:27 comes right after a passage citing a present crisis, and the earlier passage where Paul says that a person should remain single as he is, is mitigated by the ability to avoid “burning with passion”, which I take to mean that if you have a desire to have a family, marriage is a good idea, but don’t let pressures make you think you have to if you don’t want to.
So marriage is a good thing. But I’m not to marry anyone. I’m limited by a few more things. In the first place, I should not be “unequally yoked” with an unbeliever, and I should seek a Godly wife. I also think that I need to find someone who understands that a man is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the Church (not in a superior/inferior relationship, denying the equality of the persons of the trinity, but in an equal, yet different roles kinda way).
Here’s where the problems begin for a guy in my culture. The majority of spiritual women with agreement about these points who are in my age range are either 1) already married or seriously involved, 2) professionals with NO time to get to know (compounded by the belief I share that guys and girls can’t be “just friends”, 3) on the missions field or 4) show absolutely no interest in me (hard to believe, but some women actually can resist my charms).
Of course, God can deal with all of these things, as long as I am willing to be faithful to Him, and follo his leading, but I’d be lying if I said this wasn’t a part of my life in which I face struggles. I do desire to have a wife and begin a Godly family, but the opportunities seem to be near nil.
It’s at times like this when I am glad for the promises of God. He will never leave me nor forsake me (Heb 13:5), He will provide for all my needs as I seek his kingdom (Matthew 6:33), and most importantly, that while marriage is a good thing on this side of eternity, it is only a foretaste of the greatest marriage of all, in which I (as part of the Church) marry the bridegroom, Jesus Christ (Revelation 19).
Thinking of Jesus puts it all into perspective. Oh I pray that I would keep that perspective; my eyes on Christ.