Bible, Culture, Holiness

On Returning to “normal”

One of the many things that have made up the experiences of my life is the 7 years as an adult that I spent living in South Korea. When I talk about it with people, those who haven’t lived an appreciable time in a foreign culture think it sounds cool and a little scary. Often the question they’ll ask me is “wasn’t it hard?”, meaning the whole leaving Canada, moving to a place where I was a clear minority, knew nobody and didn’t even speak the language. Of course, there were difficulties in doing all that, and I made a lot of mistakes (some of which I now realize enough to regret). But that wasn’t the most difficult part of the whole endeavour.

The hardest part was coming home. 

That isn’t to say I wish I still lived in Korea. Even though Koreans are some of the nicest people I’ve known, and their country is beautiful, God called me back home, and I am happy to be here in Newfoundland. But when I was moving to Korea I expected all of the difficulties, and the people around me expected me to be having difficulties. That wasn’t the case when I moved back.

The fact was that I assumed on Canada, and Canada assumed on me. While I was gone for 7 years, I assumed that things had stayed the same at home, but they hadn’t. There had been huge changes (not all of them I found welcome), and yet I had assumed that I would have nothing to get used to. Instead, I had to get used to single friends who were now married and married friends who were now single. My parents were now much older. Things I had been used to had changed, and yet because I was going “home” I wasn’t ready for it, and I had to get used to the new normal all at once. 

At the same time, people who had missed me while I was gone, had largely assumed I had stayed the same as well. I was no longer the slightly arrogant law school grad in his late 20s, I was now a middle-aged man who had been humbled a few times. Where I had been more tentative about some of the things I believed, 7 years of reflection and thought had changed some of my opinions, weakened some others, and hardened yet others. I had new skills and new ideas, and some of the changes were welcome while others were not.

While I looked like an older version of the guy who’d left, there had been serious changes to the kind of guy I was, and now my friends here in Canada were dealing with my 7 years of growth and change all at once, as I was facing 7 years of changes to Canada and everyone in it all at once as well.

Lightstock 564351 xsmall stephen daweI say this because we are about to go through, as a culture, a very similar experience now. Within a month, if all goes well, all of the provincial health restrictions that have been in place for 2 years will be gone. We will suddenly be able to mingle and meet as we only have in very limited ways over the past 2 years. And yet, for good or ill, we have all changed over that 2 years. The men and women coming out of Covid are not the same people who went in, and since we’re tempted to imagine that we’re returning to normal, we may think that we’ll simply step out of Covid as if nothing has happened. 

Worse, as Covid has limited much of the movement that was normal as part of society, the removal of Covid will likely mean that almost 2 years of massive life changes that could not happen during Covid will now happen all at once. I’ve already started to see it around me, and the feeling I’m getting is oddly familiar.

The positive part is that we will largely all be doing this at some level together. If we are wise, we will be able to use that to transition well back to what is the heir to the home country we knew before everything locked down. We will be wise to remember that this shift will be as traumatic as the shift we made into lockdowns, though now we have the ability to give ourselves some time. We will also be wise to give some grace to others as they struggle in ways different to our own, but knowing that we are struggling in some ways too. 

I guess we will now have an opportunity to obey a command that the Bible gives us at least 6 different times (Le 19:18, Mt. 22:39, Mk. 12:31, Lk 10:27 Gal. 5:14,  Jas. 2:8, Rm 13:9).

“You shall love your neighbour as yourself”

SDG

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#anger, Bible, Christianity

On the Big Sticks we Carry in Friendship

One of my criticisms of the recent use by our federal government of the Emergencies act to deal with a large illegal and likely aggravating protest in the nation’s capital has been that it makes similar actions in the future easier. This isn’t a minor consideration, as there is likely a reason that this legislation hadn’t been previously used in the 34 years since it achieved royal assent (our least popular Prime Minister didn’t even do it during the 71-day Oka Crisis in 1990 when the protesters were armed and people had died).

The clearest problem comes from the chilling effect such heavy-Lightstock 550626 xsmall stephen dawehanded actions have on dissent. For example, the government has stated that it may freeze bank accounts without a warrant during this time. The mere threat of that happening is likely to make many people think twice before they donate to oppose government action. 

Why the sudden foray into politics on a blog about Biblical reflections on the sovereignty of God? It’s because similar dynamics can be at work in relationships, and provide a deep pitfall for the way we deal with one another. You see, friendships are often built over long periods of time, and through a lot of shared experience, and sometimes secrets. The fact is that the longest and deepest friendships often include knowledge of all the “dirt”, and it is the trust built through knowing that dirt and yet loving each other in any case that provides some of the best glue for those friendships.

But when we are angry with one another, it can be tempting to hurt the other person or manipulate them to do what you want through the use of secrets, or even by in anger just saying that one thing you should never have said. The problem is, like with the emergencies act, the effects can go far beyond the intended consequences, and can erode, or even destroy trust.

This is why the writer of proverbs gives this gem of wisdom:

Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.

Proverbs 17:9 (ESV) 

In anger, it can be tempting to use the repetition of the things you know about your friend to hurt them, but there are consequences, sometimes greater than you can think. Some words are harder to take back than others, and some words will hurt more than the feelings of another person, and go to the heart of the trust that helps the friendship to function.

And that is yet another reason to be careful of our own anger.

SDG

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Bible, Blogging, Civility, Culture, Debate, Free Speech, Law, Online reading

Online Reading (Feb 22, 2022)

In the interest of tracking the news stories I’m thinking about, here are some stories for today:

Ukraine: Things keep getting dicey around Russia/Ukraine tensions, and we in the west need to be praying for our Christian family there.

Rule of Law: The Emergencies Act in Canada is ratified by the Commons. While I’m no fan of the trucker convoy protests, I’m never happy seeing the Rule of Law suspended, and I’m worried that it’s for a series of, largely non-violent,  protests.

Of Prodigals: Tim Challies puts a great point on the problem of Legalism with his re-imagining of the parable of the prodigal Son.

Scriptural Bias: Stephen Kneale does a great examination of the problem of bias in Christian Theology.

 

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Bible, Ethics, Secularity, Social Media

Online Reading (January 29, 2020)

Bible Reading: Tim Challies posts a great article on what those of us who have fallen behind on Bible Reading for the year can do now.

Corona virus: The new illness now has 6000 confirmed cases, and a death toll of 132. Pray for China.

Entertainment: Brett McCracken’s reflections on an episode of “The Crown” provides an examination of secularity and faith.

Cancel Culture and Algorithms: How Social Media algorithms exacerbate online rage mobs.

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Abortion, Apologetics, Bible, Immigration, Money, Refugees

Online Reading (July 20, 2018)

Bible Translations: Get Religion talks about the problem Journalists have in knowing which translation of the Bible they should quote in stories.

Money: Be careful of taking a banks advice of how to deal with US borer and customs.

Abortion: A very good reader-level examination about what happens to abortion laws in the US if Roe v. Wade were overturned.

Refugees: While we like to say Canada’s awesome on how we deal with refugees, our wait times for their hearings keep getting longer.

Immigration: World Mag has a feature on a for-profit company trying to help new Americans to find work and develop skills.

Apologetics: Here’s a Christian response to a piece by noted skeptic and atheist Michael Shermer.

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